Stace: You've got a feg on the top of your head
Me: A what?
Me: You've misspelt 'mum' on your mothers day card
Claire: No I haven't, it's spelt 'mom'
Stace: I feel a bit riffy
Me: I'm going to start cooking dinner soon
Claire: What you having nice?
(Note lack of punctuation)
And if you understood any of that, then you must be northern too (my housemates actually argue they're from the midlands, but north of the Watford Gap and your a northerner to me!)